Pilot Ready for Landing

"Don't leave the key underneath the mat for me 'cause I won't be coming back around here."

Wrapped up the pilot of Bottoms Up tonight (phrase which I masterfully incorporated in the latest of my published articles on GL.) I'm sharing it with all two to three of you for feedback. It's fun enough, and I have plans for about six episodes vaguely. It's just a shame I'm not more humorous.

Speaking of which, I'm feeling very dry tonight. It's a strange sensation, being drained of emotion. For one of the first times in my life, I understand Rhett Butler and how you can be depleted of your feeling for someone. There's always something there, but sometimes you have to put your foot down, shrug, and just say "I'm sorry. I'll always care about you vaguely, but I just can't put the effort in anymore. I don't care to. The motivation is gone," a long pause, "You killed it."

It'd be one of those long, awkward moments where you, nonchalant as ever would just tilt your head and offer a small smile. It isn't that you mean to be mean. You don't care enough to mean anything. You feel nothing. Every emotion you ever felt before has evaporated. For every complaint, moment of angst, it's all replaced with something else: complacency. It's replaced with the word 'whatever. I just don't care. Do what you want, just leave me out of it.'

It's hard to describe. I think coupled with fatigue, its tendencies are only accentuated. But you can't say you don't care at all, not even the slightest .000001% because that'd be a lie. You just don't care the way you used to. You just don't feel the way you used to because you don't really feel anything. And all you can really say is "I'm sorry." You look that person dead in the eyes. "It was you."

Here's Bottoms Up! Hooray.