Writer's Block

So I tried writing the first scene of Act 2 for HSY 3 tonight.

Admittedly, I have been having a lot of trouble writing the play. I have been basing the plot off of my experience of senior year--which, no secret (see my other blog), was honestly the most heartbreaking, angst-filled year in my life. Unlike the movie, which I cannot bear to watch anymore because of its superficiality, I intended HSY 3 to reflect what senior year really is: a wake-up call to many. There will be rejections. Irrational heartbreaks and breakdowns. There will be proms and promises and that bittersweet reality that there is an end. The other two HSYs I didn't have much of a purpose for--they were supposed to be light parodies, but HSY 3, as misplaced as it sounds, is actually pretty dark. Because I'm so attached to the characters too, it's hard to write some of the scenes. 

Which is where tonight kicks off.

I attempted writing the college "acceptance" scene tonight--basically starting out with the cast hanging around their mailboxes and dancing, singing about their impending "love letter from the world." The lights fade and it then switches to Yearbook, where Monique (the Taylor character) has been missing from school because she was rejected from her dream school, Yale. I am debating having her accepted/waitlisted at Cornell because I can't imagine anyone turning down Cornell (yet she is supposed to). Vanessa's trying to console her.

A SNIPPET:

(ZAC crosses CSR. Vanessa doesn’t notice him and continues talking)

Vanessa: I know, Monique, but you have to come back some time. (pause) You’re not a failure. You got into Cornell. (pause) But that is a real Ivy... (pause) Waitlisted at Duke? I... 

Zac: Vanessa...? 

V: (panicked) I have to go, Monique. I’ll call you back, I promise! (hangs up and quickly hides phone behind back, innocently) Oh, hi Zac! 

Z: Hi? Were you talking on your cell phone during class? 

V: N-n-no. Of course not. That’d be breaking school policy. 

Z: Monique got into Cornell? 

V: She got rejected or waitlisted everywhere else...well, except for the Raimont-Clair scholarship she got at-- 

Z: But Cornell’s great... 

V: I know, but she hates it there. She said it had the highest suicide rate for a reason and she...she had her heart set on Yale... 

Z: And they...? 

V: (softly) They rejected her, Zac. 

I also tried to muster a conversation about Zac and Vanessa's colleges. Vanessa's path is very limited because a) admissions and b) money. I have yet to establish these Central High Eagles are in the greatest recession ever. Looking back, there are a lot of plot lines I'm mishandling. I have too many conflicts at once.

CONFLICTS:

• Deferral vs. Rejection: Vanessa lies to Zac about being rejected so he'll still apply at the school. What's supposed to happen: Ashley, who has learned Vanessa has been rejected, informs Zac, making him angry at Vanessa.
• Prom Group Betrayal: Zac's prom group is deliberately filled by co-coordinator Ashley to Vanessa cannot come. Vanessa instead goes with newspaper group, breaking up the prospect of Zac and Vanessa going to prom together. What's supposed to happen: Ashley tells Vanessa the group is full on behalf of Zac, leaving Vanessa angry Zac couldn't tell her himself. Zac eventually gives up his group to go with Vanessa because all that matters is spending the evening with her.
• Your Dreams vs. Other's Dreams: Zac agonizes over choosing the school Vanessa is going to over his dream school, Duke. Lucas has trouble deciding whether he should continue to follow his sister's footsteps and go to NYU or make his own path. What's supposed to happen: Zac makes the painful choice...and it's harder than he thinks.
• The Greatest Recession: Money becomes an object. Lost money in the stocks/parents losing jobs causes dreams to be deferred for some students. These characters struggle with making the best decision and most of all, telling everyone. Accepted does not mean you can always go. What's supposed to happen: These characters make the painful choice but get what they deserve years down the road.
• Inequality in the College System: Whether it's favoring athletes, minorities, or alumni's children, the college system is one built off connections and advantages. HSY 3 uses the acceptances of its characters to highlight the system's flaws. What's supposed to happen: The characters who were dealt a fate a little short of what they deserved end up better in the long run.
• The Worst Prom Ever: High school isn't all fairy tales. A play off of work v. play, do you sacrifice your evening for the benefit of others?
• Senior Superlatives: Ashley wants Zac and her to get together and win most of the categories. Will Zac truly give up Vanessa though and will her plan work? 
• Being a Leader: Like college, Lucas is unsure whether to act on his feelings for Vanessa or stay in the sidelines. 

And there's probably tons of other problems I'm missing. Basically, I had divided the play up into acts dealing with different problems, but as of the late, it's become a big mess. There's a lot of scenes I wanted to do that I passed the proper timeline for doing. My plan now is to read the first act, edit, and reflect. I wanted to have this done by June 19, but I'm not sure how possible that is now. 

This is more serious/an emotional project for me. I didn't think writing about a Disney movie could be this hard but it's probably because when writing it, I'm tapping into my own personal wounds that haven't quite healed themselves.

Talk about writing playing a psychologist.